The Bucket

So we started our UAE bucket list (and when I say 'we' I obviously mean 'me') when the Don came home and said we will definitely be moving back to Scotland.

The move had been a possibility for a few weeks: since the Don was invited to attend the Sales Academy course in France back in May.  He is no longer part of the Sales Team, so when he questioned the invitation he was told there was a chance he'd either be transferring back to Scotland in to a Sales position, or that he'd have to take on responsibility for the new Sales Academy and Sales University that SLB were introducing.  As it happens, he's ended up doing both: preparing and running the Sales Academy course here in MLC in August, and then transferring back to Scotland in September.

For a couple of months nothing was really confirmed, other than the Don's boss's boss was fighting for him to stay put.  Then the move was confirmed but not the timing, then it was vocally confirmed for September, and then finally, last week, the Don received his official letter.

I'll not deny I was gutted.

It's not that I'm desperate to stay here, though I am really enjoying living here at the moment, but in our heads we'd thought another year and that would have been perfect to see everything we want to see in the area, and holiday from here to where we want to.  And it's not that I mind leaving here, because although I'd have been sad for the reasons above, there would have been new challenges and places to visit and people to meet and experiences to have.  Really, it's more that I'm not particularly ready to go 'home', which has never been home for two of my kids, isn't where any of my immediate family is (I think I've seen more of them anyway since we moved abroad), and, well, I guess if I'm brutally honest, isn't new and exciting.  And is cold.

Don't get me wrong, I obviously look forward to being closer to family and friends and being part of their lives; of hearing my boys develop their Scottish accents, and maybe even hearing the girls lose their American ones; of being a tourist in Scotland for a few years and seeing sights anew.  And moving back was part of our plan eventually, just not quite yet.  Really I think I'm just sad to be leaving the international lifestyle - the friends from around the world, the church and it's differences, the American positiveness, the different backgrounds and histories and traditions that we have encountered and, of course, the heat over the last six years.  There's no denying that a Texan summer is hot, or that it's hot here (maybe even too hot...) but I have loved living in the heat, as have the kids.

Also don't get me wrong, I am incredibly thankful that Scott not only has a job, but a promotion at that, especially when so many around about us are losing theirs sometimes, it seems, on a whim.  So I recognise that it's for purely selfish reasons that I am sad to be moving back to Scotland.  But you know what, I think it's okay to selfishly feel like that.  Because I am also a positive person, and I can see the experiences we are going to enjoy there, the holidays in Europe we can plan, the family events we can attend, and I know that we will enjoy and make the most of our time there and that that is what my kids see too.  But don't be surprised if we move abroad again in a few years time, and no one is going to stop me from shedding a tear as I pack up my hundreds of summer sandals and flip flops.

Also also, I think I'm gonna create a bucket list for Scotland and Europe the first week I'm home, to make sure I'm not trying to check off twenty things in half the number of weeks as we are currently.  Though we're actually doing quite well so far...